Free fixed-choice tool
Should I Text My Ex?
If the urge is mainly to stop discomfort, get reassurance, restart an argument, or force closure in a strong emotional moment, do not send the message yet. Pause and decide later.
Fixed-choice decision and pause tool
Why are you considering contact?
No message entry. Nothing is saved or sent.
Step 2 of 3
How urgent is it in practical terms?
Step 3 of 3
How strong is the impulse right now?
A fixed next step
Pause and decide later.
Practical-message checklist
- Children or shared responsibility.
- Money, property, or logistics.
- Keep it brief.
- Keep it limited to that purpose.
Ten-minute pause
- Do not send the message yet.
- Pause for ten minutes.
- Decide later.
- This is not a universal “never contact an ex” rule.
Twenty-four-hour delay plan
- Do not send the message yet.
- Wait 24 hours.
- Decide later.
- This is not a universal “never contact an ex” rule.
Reply-boundary checklist
- Replying to a message.
- Keep it brief.
- Keep it limited to that purpose.
- Decide later.
Alex Zah created the Breakup Emergency Kit and benefits financially if you buy it.
Leave the standard flow
This tool cannot assess safety or legal risk.
If there is immediate danger, contact local emergency services.
For non-immediate planning, contact a qualified local domestic-abuse or legal resource.
Do not use this tool to decide whether to make contact in this situation.
What the fixed flow does
A practical contact check and a short pause
The tool distinguishes necessary practical contact from a strong urge for reassurance, closure, conflict, or reconnection. It does not make the relationship decision for you.
Standard outcomes are a practical-message checklist, a ten-minute pause with fixed cues, a twenty-four-hour delay plan, or a reply-boundary checklist.
Exact privacy boundary
No message entry. Nothing is saved or sent.
All answers exist only in current-page JavaScript memory. The tool does not write answer or branch data to cookies, browser storage, URL parameters or fragments, form submissions, network requests, or analytics payloads. Reloading, leaving, or closing the page clears the flow.
The only permitted standard-flow lifecycle events are tool_start, tool_complete, and tool_cta_click. They contain the public tool identifier, not the reason, urgency, intensity, branch, result, elapsed time, answer count, or an inferred profile.
Read the self-guided tools privacy standard.
Tool boundary
The tool does not make the relationship decision.
It provides no personal labeling, compatibility score, prediction, or claims about another person’s motives. It provides no message template for a safety, coercion, stalking, threat, or legal-restriction branch.
For other immediate jobs, use the breakup support tools route, or browse all free self-guided tools.
Study records and tool boundary
These links go to the PubMed records checked for this release. Their findings apply to their studied samples and contexts, not to every reader or to a product outcome.